Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Little Green Men Save The Mars Rover

Maybe. The Spirit rover, one of the robots exploring the surface of Mars, has been experiencing diminishing power supply as the rover’s solar panels became obscured by Martian dust. Recently, however, the panels recently have been cleaned. Maybe a dust devil, or, perhaps, Martian squeegee men. Read this article on Spirit's new lease on life and best news since Big Tobacco quit NASA

Mr. Misanthrope

Oil Bust By 2008

As I angrily filled up a tank of gas at $1.99 a gallon, I wondered if gas prices could get worse. According to this Salon article (annoying day pass required), the answer is yes. An analysis from a Wall Street company whose expertise is checking up on energy companies reports that most major American oil companies will reach peak oil production somewhere around 2008. Then everything goes downhill as the avalability of oil declines.

Could be Chicken Little speculation, which the Salon articles readily admits. Or, the $1.99 a gallon now will be replaced with a nightmarish $5.00 a gallon future. Son of a bitch.

Mr. Misanthrope


Mr. Misanthrope

Monday, March 14, 2005

Test Translation

I'm trying out a translation tool for my research. Unless you read German, ignore the following. If you interested in the source and content of this, however, let me know.

An die Schriftleitung
Der Ruf
Box 20, New York, N. Y.

Das Entgegenkommen der amerikanischen Regierung hat den deutsehen Kriegsgefangenen die Mittel in die
Hand gegeben und die sachlichen Voraussetzungen geschaffen, eine eigene, deutsehsprachige Zeitung heraus-
zugeben und damit ein Organ geschaffen fuer eine ganz beachtliche Anzahl in amerikanischen Lagen befindlicher, deutscher Soldaten; Maenner aus allen deutschen Gauen, aus allen Bevoelkerungsschichten und aus allen
Berufen. Dies Zentralzeitung waere somit in der gluecklichen Lage, bestes deutsches Gedankengut an den Einzelnen heranzutragen.

An dieser Zeitung schaffende Kameraden haben in anerkannenswerter Weise die freiwillige Verpflichtung auf
sich genommen, die den deutschen kriegsgefangenen in ihrer Gesamtheit zur Zerfuegung gestellten Mittel
zusammen mit dem eigenen Schaffen so anzuweden dass das Produkt diese Zusammenwirkens von Geist und
Technik deutsehe Sprache, deutsches Wort und deutsche Seele manifestiert. In der ersten Ausgabe ist nun
leider wenig von dem zu finden, was wir in unserer Zeitung zu finden erhofften; aber sicherlich erhebt die
erste Ausgabe noch nicht Ansprunch auf Endgueltigkeit.

Die beiderseitigen Meinunger stimmen gewiss in der Feststellung ueberein, dass an der absolut deutchen Haltung Zweifel ueberhaupt nicht entstehen darf. Wir sind ferner der Meinung, das wir in unserer Zentralzeitung das Thema Politik durchaus entbehren koennen; der Grund hierfuer liegt in der Tatsache, dass Diskussionen und Debatten ueber Politik ohnehin nur theoretischen Wert haben und daerueber hinaus eben sehr
wohl geeignet sein koennen, den Lagerfrieden ganz empfindlich zu stoeren. Die unweigerliche Reaktion auf die
Stoerung des Lagerfriedens bestuende unter Umstaenden in Massnahmen, die insofern unpopulaer sind, als sie
nicht den Einzelnen, sondern die Gesamtheit betreffen. Deshalb also moechten wir das Thema Politik ueberhaupt vermieden sehen.

Wie nun unsere Zeitung beschaffen sein soll, wird ohne weiteres klar, wenn wir auf die Begleitumstaende der
riegsgefangenschaft hinweisen, auf das ewige Hin und Her, das Auf und Ab in den Empfindungen. Wir
sind in einer Weise seelischen Belastungen ausgesetzt, wie sie in solch schroffer Form eben nur der Kriegsgefan-
gene kennt. Ueber Nacht ist ihm ploetzlich das Leben fremd geworden, es erscheint ihm ploetzlich wie eine
schlecht gelueftete Stube, in die nie ein frisches Lueftehen dringt und war doch gestern noch ein schoener
Carten mit vielen bluehenden Blumen. Heute spricht der Kriegsgefangene vom eintoenigen tristen und
freudlonsen Leben und kann durchaus nicht mehr verstehen, das es gestern noch schoen und lebenswart war.
Er moechteon heute, dass der Tag einmal sechsunddreissig Stunden haette, dass der Tag einmal des abends begaenne oder einmal zwei Naechte haette, er Moechte ja, verdammt noch mal, was moechte er denn nun eigentlich?

Wir alle sind solchen oder aehnlichen Stimmungen unterworfen, niemand von uns kann sich gaenzlich davon
freimachen, wenn auch die Reaktion bei jedem Einzelnen verschieden sein mag, denn ein jeder sieht die Dinge
mit anderen Augen an und was den einen erschuettert, das laesst den anderen voellig kalt.

In solchen kritischen Augenblichen ist es gut, eine Zeitung zu haben, deren Inhalt und Sprache geeignet ist,
die misslichen Umstaende vergessen zu lassen und deren Inhalt uns herausfuehrt aus dem Chaos der Gedanken.
Eine solche Zeitung sollte "der Ruf" sein, so wuenschen wir uns unsere Zeitung.

Der Schriftleitung detailliert auseinanderzuseten, was denn nun eigentlich in dieser Zeitung gewuenscht
wird, halten wir fuer nicht notwendig deshalb, weil ihr gewiss die besten Zeitungsfachleute angehoeren, denen
langjaehrige Berufserfahrung im Dienste der Allgemeinheit den Blick fuer das Besondere geschaerft hat. Wir
druecken uns gewiss klar und unmissverstaendlich aus, wenn wir wuensehen, dass unsere Zeitung Gemuet
und Seele enthalten muss. Zu uns kenn nur einer sprechen, der so ist wle wir: einfach und schlicht. Wir lieben
das Reine, das Schoene undempfindsame.

Es ist bestimmt nicht schwer, uns Seldaten zu begeistern. Man muss das nur am richtigen Ende fassen. Dann
werden wir auch immer hinter unsere Kameraden treten, die diese Zeitung sehaffen. Wir Soldaten koennen auch
dankbar sein.

Walter Mann
Verantwortlicher Schriftleiter
der Lagerzeitung der Querschnitt"


Dienstgradlager Opelika, Alabama

Stephan Strauss
Lagersprecher.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

DMV Hell In Germany

Yes, the DMV is a reenactment or dress rehearsal for eternal damnation in the twelve circles. But, Germany possesses uniquely evil peculiarities in getting a driver's license. Read here about earning the right to cruise 110 MPH (screw the metric system) on the Autobahn.

Herr Misanthrope

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Is Meat Murder, or Veggies Child Abuse?

No offense to my vegetarian friends out there (I have several, believe it or not - friends that is), but recent research indicates their depraved meatless lifestyles might hurt....the children.

This article from the journal Nature indicates that children fed meat enjoy better health and even superior intelligence. On the bionic strength side,
Meat is a vital part of a child's diet, according to a two-year study of Kenyan schoolkids. Without it, children grow up smaller, less strong and less intelligent...Children in the meat-supplemented group showed up to an 80% greater increase in upper-arm muscle compared with the non-supplemented children; for milk drinkers, this figure was 40%1.

On the mental health side,
Kids who were fed meat also outperformed their peers in tests of intelligence, problem solving and arithmetic. "The group that received the meat supplements were more active in the playground, more talkative and playful, and showed more leadership skills," Allen said.


So, when you give up the luscious flesh of cuddly animals the terrorists win. Eat a Bambi steak.

Mr. Misanthrope

Slothful Mr. Misanthrope Is Back

Well, I turned in three chapters of my thesis yesterday, totaling over some 90 odd pages...and I'm only halfway done! Good Lord, it will never end! Anyway, now is as convenient a time to return from hiatus.

Mr. Misanthrope

Friday, January 28, 2005

New Revolution In Relationship Kibitizing

My friends and I endlessly anaylze the status of others romantic relationships (to use a friendly term for gossiping). Constantly we assess the strength, durability, and potential of particular pair bondings. While we've had fun doing it, nonetheless we have lacked the vocabulary to properly contextualize the sexual dynamic. No more however!

The Onion has shown us the way. Now we can assess romantic relationships using the invisibile hand of the market. Once you've read this article the way you think about romance will forever be changed. If only romantic relationships had stock options.

Mr. Misanthrope

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Linguists Gone Wild!

Funny little story on what the "word of the year" is, and the fility origin of the noun "santourum". Ugh.

Mr. Misanthrope

We Are All Torturers Now

The appointment and likely nomination of Alberto Gonzales as Attorney General is a shameful and willful ignorance of the torture scandals of the Bush Administration.

A full recounting of the torture chronology, which extends far before and after Abu Gharib, is here by Andrew Sullivan. As a conservative hawkish on going to war, his indictment carries significant weight.

American society carries a collective shame for this. Read this NYT editorial for greater understanding.

Mr. Misanthrope

The Soft Bigotry of Lowered Expectations

George Bush doesn't like pessimists. If were to condone low test scores from impoverished school districts, or guffaw at the idea of democracy springing full grown from a liberated Iraq, then you demonstrate what he likes to call: "The soft bigotry of lowered expectations." Good quote.

That's why I literally laughed out loud at this Washington Post article (it's either laugh or cry) - "U.S. Lowers Expectations On Iraq Vote". While the January 20th Iraq election has been touted as the turning point for a new Iraq, the Bushies are safely hedging their bets in case the election ends in bloodshed or an illegitimate government.

The money quote, from an unnamed administration official: "I would . . . really encourage people not to focus on numbers, which in themselves don't have any meaning, but to look on the outcome and to look at the government that will be the product of these elections." Focus on the numbers? Considering that democratic elections hinge on the very notion of focusing on the numbers, well, that's just damn funny Orwellian tomfoolery.

Regarding the possibility of the election been seen as illegitimate, the unnamed official makes a useful comparison. "The official highlighted the low voter turnout in U.S. elections as evidence that polling numbers are not essential to legitimacy." Ah, the audacity. Comparing apples to oranges, or laziness to IEDs, is preposterous. And second, this is the pathetic electoral standard American troops are dying for?

However the Iraqi election turns out, I do think it is a step in the right direction. If Iraq splinters into civil war, at least one or two factions will enjoy the fruits of democracy. If that isn't a lowered expectation I don't know what is.

Mr. Misanthrope

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

Two Damn Fine Editorals

A couple of editorials in the Washington Post today makes me want to salute or puke, I don't know which. Two writers, Harold Meyerson and Anne Applebaum, take issue with the chicanery of the Bush Administration. They come up with the right questions, and earn praise - the answers, however, are frightening and make me sick.

First, Meyerson. A respected economic expert, he looks at the Bush Administration’s knack for creating a crisis where none exists. Back in the day: WMD. Now: Social Security. I won't try and summarize Meyerson's points, but for those giddy over the prospect of private accounts, give him a read.

Second, Applebaum. I really like her work, even if she is a bit conservative. Nonetheless, very solid writing, especially her book Gulag. Anyway, her topic today - the efficacy of torture. The fact where are debating whether is it useful of not is abhorrent. Applebaum asserts that even if morally permissible, it doesn't provide reliable intelligence.

Manufactured crises and state sponsored abuse for national security leads to the way of the Reichstag Fire and Stalin's show trials. Thanks to Meyerson and Applebaum for speaking out. Hopefully it will have an impact. Or, the inexorable advance of the New Conservative Ice Age is upon us.


Mr. Misanthrope

Rick Rubin, Da Man

Who is Rick Rubin? Only the guy responsible for producing such acts as LL Cool J, Run DMC, the Beastie Boys, Public Enemy, and his most accomplished work, producing Johnny Cash's kick-ass American Recordings.

This interview by the Onion's AV Club questions Rubin about his career, influences, and work with some of the best music made in 50 years. Read about this pivotal perspective in popular culture.

Mr. Misanthrope

24 Returns

My favorite and your favorite, 24, returned last weekend with a four-hour extravaganza. I plan on enjoying this season like the last three (although the last season was a little weak). No Kim though. Or Nina. Hopefully some dangerous spy eye-candy will erupt to kick ass.

Two recent articles on this season's 24 has already surfaced - one from the New York Times on 24 and the War on Terror (pretty good, no spoilers) and one from Salon (spoilers). Enjoy.

Thank God for the Tivo. Anyone locally who wants to catch up, let me know. I've got them saved.

Mr. Misanthrope

Declaring Great Victory in Iraq

The search is over. The CIA's collection of WMD hunters is now done in Iraq. Result? Well, better not to ask. Not that it matters to 51% of the voting public anyway.

Mr. Misanthrope

Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Meet The Youngest Member of Congress

Patrick McHenry, the newly elected Representative of the 10th District of North Carolina, is also the youngest member of Congress, age 29. He's also a college classmate of mine. While I most likely share few of his political views (staunch Republican), nonetheless it's nice to know someone noteworthy. Thanks to gerrymandering, if he can continue to win Republican primaries he can stay a Congressman his entire political career.

Here's his webpage, and a story from the Charlotte Observer on him. If I need a Presidential pardon I know who to talk to.

Mr. Misanthrope

Templar Knights, The Holy Grail, and Public Relations

UK's Guardian has a story on the re-emergence of the Templar Knights, the location of the Holy Grail, and the PR difficulties incumbent with super secret occult organizations.

Mr. Misanthrope

Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Catastrophe In Asia

Wow. Not much to say about this except this is a global catastrophe. All nations need to kick in and help. The US has ponied up $15 million to date, but the damage will run in the billions. Major aid will be needed in Sri Lanka and Indonesia. And no amount of money will replace the absence of 40,000+ dead (as of this morning).

This New York Times op-ed is a curious piece reminding us that in order to anticipate and help alleviate the effects of natural disasters, we need to look at history not on a human scale but a geologic one. Read the article - its interesting yet scary.

Let's keep those folks on the Indian Ocean rim in our minds and prayers.

Mr. Misanthrope

Sunday, December 26, 2004

Festius Takes Over The Public Square

Christians demanding the nativity scence at the county courthouse in Polk county Florida have produced an unexpected side effect. If Christian displays are allowed so then must other faiths.....including the merry festival of Festivus. Read here for the details.

One question: how do you conduct a county-wide Festivus celebration? Air griences at the shopping mall? Pin the mayor in the public park? All good questions.

Hope you all enjoyed the holidays. Take care.

Mr. Misanthrope

Wednesday, December 22, 2004

Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays? Neither! Celebrate Festivus! It's for the Rest of Us!

The cultural war has taken a precipitously stupid turn with the debate over "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Holidays". We're neck deep in a real shooting war and all cable news and talk radio can talk about is this dumb shit. As a Christian (Catholic by trade), I have no problem with either greeting. People who get all in a fuss are shitbags with too little time on their hands and easily offended. Oh Scott Peterson, where have you gone?!? I won't speak of it further, except to point you to two cogent articles - one by Reason, which explains why the 75% Christian majority is in fact not a persecuted minority. Bitches. The second is a list of ways in which Christians have the good life here in the United States. Funny read.

So, in revulsion of the Christmas jihad I happily report more and more folks are turning to Festivus, the winter holiday "For the Rest of Us". Turning away from the consumerism of the holiday season, Festivus gets to basics - an aluminum pole, the airing of grievances, and feats of strength. The holiday was popularized by a Seinfeld episode, but its origins are rooted in reality. See this New York Times article for the history of this cherished holiday. Cultural intricacies of the holiday, including grievance worksheets and feats of strength challenge cards, can be found here.

I will be celebrating Festivus tonight with friends. On behalf of me, Mr. Misanthrope, I would like to say how much you all have disappointed me. Merry Festivus.


Mr. Misanthrope

Blame Canada!

With the conservatives controlling all three branches of government, and effectively cowing the fourth estate with the supreme importance of "values", the Right looks like it has America nearly where it wants it. What to do next?

Blame Canada! Enjoy these heartwarming clips of conservatives ripping our neighbor from the North. It's easy to forget that the worthless liberals from the frozen north helped us in World War II to the tune of 37,500 men! No wonder all these democracies are clamoring to get involved in our foreign messes!

And according to South Park they have beady eyes to...

Mr. Misanthrope

Playing Risk Can Be Harmful To Children

From the World's Finest News Source...

Risk Champ Flunks Geography Test

ALBANY, NY— Alfred Wu, the 13-year-old winner of the 2004 East Coast Risk Championship, flunked his 8th-grade world-geography test, social-studies teacher Jane Laurent reported Monday. "His test paper was filled with names like Kamchatka and Yakutsk, and the Ukraine spread over half of Europe," Laurent said. "And, by his account, the U.S. is made up of only three states: Eastern United States, Western United States, and Alaska." Last week, Wu received an "F" on a paper he wrote about Napoleonic military Stratego.

Beware, folks. The game of Global Domination carries its own risks.

Mr. Misanthrope

Friday, December 10, 2004

Did You File Your TPS Report?

Want some fun? Check out these sounds from the Office Space soundboard. Here Lumbergh in all his glory.

Mr. Misanthrope

Columbus Metal Massacre

You may have heard about the crazy shootings at a Columbus, Ohio metal concert. A mentally unbalanced individual jumped on stage, shot the guitarist and killed several other people. The shooter was then taken down by a thankfully nearby cop.

I have several thoughts on this event. First, the band that was playing was a spin-off of Pantera, a classic redneck heavy metal band from the 90's. I saw them play in Birmingham with White Zombie back in my more impressionable high school days. The band members of Pantera were a little crazy. For them to meet such an extreme end, which tragic, seems to fit their public persona.

Another thought. The ABC Evening News on the report from last night insinuated that heavy metal is intrinsically destructive and violent music. Loud, obnoxious, and saturated with testosterone: yes. Leading to murder? No. What I found ironic was ABC showing a picture of the shooter in his Marine Corps uniform. Now, couldn't the cause of the murder be just as easily caused the death-dealing, ultra-violent indoctrination employed by the military? Couldn't the Marine influence be just as powerful as heavy metal?

The answer, is of course, of course not. His Marine training didn't cause this crime, he addled brain did. Sweeping and untethered generalizations are poor ideas. Either for the Marines or Heavy Metal.

So, ala Jack Black, I raise my Goblet of Rock to the dead guitarist from Pantera. May your legend live on.

Mr. Misanthrope

Watch Out Souless One - A Medical Draft Might Be Coming!

Saw this little tidbit and thought my buddy the Souless One, currently preparing for medical school, might just get the willies. No hyperlink readily available, so read below:

"A different kind of draft"

Discussion of reinstating the draft tends to bring to mind Vietnam-era images of infantry units beefing up with young men fresh out of high school. According to a Wall Street Journal article published Wednesday, however, the young men and women who may have the most reason to be worried right now about being conscripted for military service are the ones just out of med school.

"The Selective Service System said it is reviewing a little-known contingency plan for drafting physicians, nurses and other health professionals, causing concern at the American Medical Association, which voted yesterday to communicate with the agency on the issue."

"People are concerned that it might be a doctors' draft," said Sandra F. Olson, chairwoman of the council of medical education for the AMA.

"If authorized, about 36,000 health-care workers could be selected from 60 specialties, including anesthesiology, mental health, emergency medicine and neurology. Akin to a general conscription, selection would start with the youngest registrants."

The recent talk about drafting medical professionals may not be a coincidence. By any standard, November was the most bloody month of the Iraq occupation to date. The Pentagon reported that 136 American military personnel died as a result of the conflict, and nearly 1,200 were wounded in action.


From Salon.com. Scary stuff folks. I'd hate to see Souless One get conscripted for the War on Terror Part II, Iran.

Mr. Misanthrope

Think You're So Smart? Try This.

Well, when it comes to US history and geography, I think I'm hot shit. I was humbled after trying this little game however. This game lets you place individual states onto a map of the nation. No political lines to help you - so even if you know where Iowa or Rhode Island goes, you've got to get it fairly exact without relating to other states.

Give it a try. Let me know the score that you got. We'll see if it is better than mine.

Mr. Misanthrope

Thursday, December 02, 2004

Yet Another Reason for Alabama To Be Embarassed - Part II

Homosexuals. Love em' or hate em', they seem to attract a lot of attention these days. Especially from an Alabama state legislator (Gerald Allen, R-Cottondale), who wants to cut off all public funding for anything promoting homosexuality. Promoting. A potentially ambiguous term – so, what might this potential legislation mean?

Well, specifically "the purchase of textbooks or library materials that recognize or promote homosexuality as an acceptable lifestyle." In additional, the legislator adds that "if his bill passes, novels with gay protagonists and college textbooks that suggest homosexuality is natural would have to be removed from library shelves and destroyed." How to get rid of these offending tomes? "I guess we dig a big hole and dump them in and bury them," he said.

Well, I know extremists are ever-present in any state, red or blue. But Alabama seems to elect their wackos to office. Son of a bitch.

What worries me is when books start to get destroyed by government edict, people might just be next. Remember.....oh, I don't know, the Third Reich planning big bonfires for the Jewish books? Well, this sort of thing scares the shit out of me.

Thanks Alabama!

Mr. Misanthrope



Wonder Why The World Doesn't Like Us? Read On

Following 9/11, United States immigration laws understandably and correctly were tightened. Sort of. The Mexican border is still largely porous, but for other nationalities things have gotten pretty difficult. Legal entry, foreign study, and naturalization have become bitches to obtain. But, even reasonable actions have unforeseen consequences.

And now we see the result of poorly thought out policies. Like this revolting story from the Washington Post regarding the deportation of widows. That's right, widows. For aliens or even naturalized citizens whose partner dies before a two year period, that person can be deported. Even if that person has kids, who are legit US citizens, the spouse has to go. No exceptions, even with the pleading of Senators and Congressman. Read the story - I think you'll be offended. Don’t worry, orphans will soon be sent to Guantanmo and cute kittens recruited by the Pentagon as land mine detectors.

God bless this new, cuddly era of Compassionate Conservatism.


Mr. Misanthrope

Day of Outrage

Today I'm going to post stories that piss the hell out of me. Let misantrophy reign! (Is that a word?)

Mr. Misanthrope

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

America: Fuck Yeah! The Video

One of the best songs to one of the year's most unappreciated movie, Team America, now has a video. Witness - "America: Fuck Yeah!". Brilliant.

Mr. Misanthrope